Coaching employees is always challenging. We push them to be better and to expect more of themselves. Except it doesn’t always work. For some reason, our employees often don’t take the feedback we’re giving them the way it’s intended. They get defensive or they shut down on us
One of the best leadership lessons I’ve learned in the past couple of years is that good leaders abide by the golden rule:
“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
But great leaders abide by the “platinum rule”:
“Treat others the way they want to be treated.”
The #1 reason that leaders are considered jerks is that they don’t work to meet employees on their level. We assume that our employees will accept the sort of coaching/leadership/discipline that works for us. And too often, that’s not the case.
Anyone that’s worked with diverse employee groups of varying ages or cultural backgrounds knows that every employee finds meaning in what they do in distinctly different ways. Your job, as the boss, is to identify these areas of meaning and either speak to the employees in a language they can understand or work to help your employees better understand your language.
Your employees have to view you as an advocate for them. If they can’t connect your actions to a larger story that involves you being on their side, they’re always going to treat you like an antagonist and work to undermine you.
This is why great leaders listen, you have to better understand your employees to properly advocate for the things they care about and find meaning in. The more you can consistently connect back to the issues your employees care about, the further you’ll get in your leadership journey.
Good luck out there.
-Patrick