As a leader, nothing is more important than the relationships you build with your team. So much of your success is determined by the work done by other people, which encourages a close partnership between you and your employees (and vice versa). Employee relationships can make every problem better or worse. Need an employee to cover a shift? Need a team member to help you with something? Want to bounce an idea off someone? Everything can get 10x easier or harder depending on the strength of these relationships.
Like all softer skills, it’s assumed that you either “get it” or you don’t when it comes to building trust with your team. This is wrong, and sets many young leaders up to learn many lessons the hard way. Certainly it’s a soft skill and you need baseline emotional intelligence to be able to build effective relationships, but anyone who’s ever developed a close friendship or strong romantic partnership can build trust within their team.
Spend more time with them
In order to gain the trust of your team, you need to understand them. Are you having regular one-on-one meetings with your team to just talk? Asking them how their day is going? Listening to their current challenges and helping to coach them? If you don’t get to know your team, you won’t know what motivates them (or frustrates them). Without that context, then you won’t be able to give them the kind of support they need. Strong support builds credibility and positive relationship capital. If you can speak their language and frame things in a way they can better understand, then you’ll be perceived as being more relatable and in-tune with your team.
Put their needs ahead of your own
Deep down, every employee is worried that you’re indifferent to their interests. Some people spend their entire careers getting taken advantage of by selfish managers. Don’t be surprised when that carries over into hesitance and reservedness from your employees. They secretly worry, deep down, that you’re going to disappoint them.
Your job is to ensure you don’t validate that feeling. Go out of your way, whenever possible, to show that you’re putting their needs ahead of your own. Offer to take some of the workload off your employee’s hands. Stay late with an employee if they have to cover. Bring coffee or snacks to the employees after an especially hard week.
Be very cautious about taking advantage of any of the “perks” of management. Leave when they leave, arrive when they arrive, and abide by the same rules that you ask them to adhere to. Be very cautious about giving the impression that the rules that apply to them don’t apply to you.
Own your mistakes
Many leaders are filled with a constant desire to hide their mistakes, getting defensive or evasive when confronted. This is foolish. Mistakes are natural, and often completely forgettable. The biggest problem with making mistakes is how many people double-down on them. Own your mistakes when you make them. Learn how to apologize and say sorry when things go wrong. Did you make a mistake that negatively affected your team? Screwed up the schedule? Mishandled an employee issue? Fine, that happens. Don’t make it worse by being defensive or abrasive about being held accountable for it. Your team wants to be able to relate to you. Allowing yourself to be seen as fallible will humanize you.
Be patient
All relationships are built over time. If you’ve only recently started managing your team, then know that it’s going to take time before you can develop trust. Give yourself 6-12 months before you start to see any real traction. The longer it takes to build the relationship, the stronger it will be.
If you appreciate your employees and the work they do for your organization (and show it!), then over time they’ll learn to trust you. Work to develop the above steps into regular habits. Monthly one-on-one check-ins, regular rounding at off-hours or time on the floor with the team, and asking employees to hold you accountable if they feel you’ve done something against the interests of the team.
Keep a list of all the things that you’re getting done on their behalf. Share the list in the break-room or at staff meetings. Ask employees to submit ideas for this list. Once you show that you habitually want a deeper relationship with your team, you’ll be surprised at how responsive they’ll be to your efforts.
Good luck out there.
-Patrick